When it comes to self‑knowledge, almost all of us believe we are quite proficient. Yet organisational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich, in her bestselling book Insight: Why We’re Not as Self‑Aware as We Think, reveals a striking truth: about 95% of people think they are self‑aware, but in reality only 10‑15% truly are.

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Dr. Eurich divides self‑awareness into two distinct categories: Internal Self‑Awareness – how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations, and behavioural patterns – and External Self‑Awareness – understanding how others see us and the impact we have on them.

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The crucial question is: are these two dimensions equally easy to develop? And for those who stand at the pinnacle of wealth and influence, what unique challenges does external self‑awareness present?

 

Internal Self‑Awareness: A Domain You Control

Internal self‑awareness lies entirely within your own command. You do not need anyone else’s opinion to recognise your values, beliefs, strengths, or weaknesses. It is a realm where you are the sole master, and you may explore it without any external tools.

External self‑awareness, however, is a very different story.

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The Riddle of Honest Feedback

External self‑awareness is the ability to know how others perceive your behaviour and character. As Dr. Eurich points out, internal and external self‑awareness are completely independent skills. One can be deeply introspective yet completely oblivious to one’s actual effect on others.

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For business owners and those at the apex of power, obtaining candid, unfiltered feedback from those around them becomes a persistent and formidable challenge. Employees, junior managers, and even close associates often hesitate to voice their true opinions – fearing consequences or simply deferring to your position. Consequently, you may receive only positive remarks, leaving you trapped in a confirmation bubble of superficial praise.

Dr. Amy Edmondson of Harvard University explains this phenomenon through the concept of Psychological Safety. Psychological safety is the shared belief that a team is safe for interpersonal risk‑taking – that members can speak up with ideas, concerns, or even mistakes without fear of humiliation or punishment. The higher the power distance in an organisation, the weaker this safety becomes, and the harder it is to receive genuine feedback.

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To visualise this dilemma, consider the Johari Window model, created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. It divides the “self” into four quadrants:

• Open Area: What we know about ourselves and others also know.

• Blind Spot: What others see in us but we do not see in ourselves.

• Hidden Area: What we know about ourselves but keep hidden from others.

• Unknown Area: What is yet unknown to both ourselves and others.

External self‑awareness is the effort to shrink the Blind Spot. And as the model clearly shows, the only way to discover your blind spots is through honest feedback from others – because blind spots are, by nature, invisible to you alone.

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Practical Strategies to Overcome the Challenge

So, if direct feedback from employees and associates is so difficult to obtain, how can we enhance our external self‑awareness and uncover our blind spots? Fortunately, researchers and theorists have proposed several effective approaches.

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A) Direct but Skilful Methods (Creating a Safe Space)

• Building Psychological Safety (Dr. Amy Edmondson): Leaders can gradually cultivate this safety by admitting their own mistakes, receiving negative feedback without defensiveness, and demonstrating that such feedback leads to concrete action. Psychological safety is not about being “nice”; it is about enabling candid feedback, open admission of errors, and collective learning.

• Asking Specific, Actionable Questions: Instead of asking “What do you think of me?” (which invites vague, positive answers), use the Start‑Stop‑Continue technique. Ask: “In yesterday’s meeting, what did I do that helped you? What upset you? What should I start or stop doing to make your work easier?”

B) Indirect yet Subtle Methods

• Indirect Feedback‑Seeking (Krasman et al.): This involves soliciting feedback in ways that the giver does not realise they are providing it – for example, through an apparently unrelated question or gentle humour. The drawback is that the feedback is often ambiguous and requires your own interpretation. For instance, a graphic designer might ask a marketing director, “Do you think the rebranding of Company X caused much stir?” to gauge the director’s taste in design.

• Reflective Comparison: Observe the behaviour and outcomes of peers who are particularly successful in similar roles. Comparing yourself to them can offer indirect clues about your own performance gaps.

C) Self‑Directed Methods (Observation and Journaling)

• Reflective Journaling: Writing daily about your interactions, reactions, and their results helps you identify behavioural patterns. Just 15 minutes of journaling each day, by creating temporal distance from events, can give you a more objective view of yourself.

D) Structured, Technology‑Driven Methods

• Anonymous Feedback Tools (360‑Degree Feedback): Using platforms that collect feedback completely anonymously can be one of the most effective solutions. A strong guarantee of anonymity is essential for honest feedback – without it, people will filter and moderate their responses. Tools that use a small number (e.g., 15) of smart, mostly open‑ended questions are far more practical than long, exhausting questionnaires.

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Closing Thoughts: See Your Blind Spots Through Others’ Eyes

The journey toward external self‑awareness is continuous and requires courage, humility, and the right tools. It is the key to thriving in today’s complex world. Your blind spot is the greatest danger to your future – and at the same time, the greatest opportunity for your personal growth and excellence. Take it seriously.

 

As Dr. Tasha Eurich so eloquently puts it: “The only way to see your blind spots is to borrow the eyes of others.”